love yourself

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools: #3 Others Thoughts Don’t Matter

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools: #3 Others Thoughts Don’t Matter

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools are a collection of tools you can use to live a more self-empowered life.  When you are in a place of happiness, your whole life takes shape.  Love, joy, success and fulfillment all become realities in your life.  In this 10 step guide I will reveal the tools to live a happy, loving, positive thinking life using the concept of self-love.  This path to happiness is available to anyone.  The only thing needed to achieve it, is the desire.

The third tool for self empowerment is your perception of what other people think of you.

What other people think of you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their thoughts

To illustrate, let’s use an example of what you could consider was a bad day.  You overslept, then on your commute into work you hit tons of traffic.  When you get to work your boss bombards you with meetings and work that put you in an even worse mood.  Your lunch order was incorrect and you feel run down.  This domino effect of bad things is for another topic but lets just say you’ve had a crummy day.

You then have dinner plans with a friend.  At dinner your friend tells you all about her new love interest and wants your advice.  Thinking to yourself you think how he doesn’t seem right for her or maybe this new relationship is a waste of her time.  You’ve had two failed relationship in the past few years and are feeling cynical towards dating.  Possibly, you don’t want to see her spending all her time with someone new and ignoring you.  So, you let her know she’s making a mistake or that she’s always made bad mistakes.  To this friend who valued your opinion you’ve now just let them know what you thought based on your mood and your point of view based on your experiences not theirs.  This opinion while it feels right to you might not be right for her.  Only you know what is right for you.  If she has a poor sense of self and doesn’t trust her choices, this news hits her hard.

If you were to step back and look at this interaction from the outside you’d see:

  • You’ve had a bad day and your opinion’s based on this mood.
  • You’ve had two failed relationships and you’re giving your advice from this perspective.
  • You aren’t her and haven’t made the same choices she’s made.
  • She is asking for advice because she’s uncertain in her own decisions.

When we look at it like this, you see what someone else thinks has nothing to do with you and more to do with them.  Opinions and thoughts about others originate from their mood and their situation.  These opinions change from moment to moment.  Someone could think bad things about someone and then that changes depending on their mood.  How can you base how you feel about yourself on something so temporary and uncertain?  Someone could think every day they hate the rain but another could love a rainy day.

The same belief is true about positive thoughts directed towards you.  How true are these thoughts if you don’t believe them to be true?  You could think you are bad at your job but someone lower down in the company dreams about the position you are in.  They could think how great it must be for you to have succeeded.  Does this make it true for you if they tell you you are successful, that you are talented to have gotten to this position, if you don’t believe them?  Others thoughts are just that thoughts not realities of who you are good or bad.

Habits of the same thoughts create habits of the same opinions

When you live your life knowing these outside opinions good or bad do not define you, you will appreciate the decisions you make.  How you feel about yourself and your choices are a good indicator for how you view yourself.  If you don’t trust your choices how can anyone else think you’ve made good choices.  When we look at how we feel about ourselves its best to exclude what anyone else thinks.

  • only you know what is appropriate for you
  • how you feel about yourself should always originate from what you feel is true about you

This doesn’t mean interacting with others doesn’t shape our experiences and that we are to ignore all outside influences.  When two people secure in who they are combine, be it in a romantic relationship or in any endeavor that combination creates something new and exciting.  Two opposite experiences and thought processes coming together create something that couldn’t happen on its own.  This is the joy of individuality coming together and inventing new ideas.  If you go out seeking different opinions you are then expanding your view based on the desire to evolve not the devolution of your self worth based on outside influences.  I encourage you to expand your ideas and learn from others.  Life is about expansion and growth but do it from a place of certainty and confidence.  Offer your opinions with the same confidence in yourself while respecting the views of others.

So, you say to yourself how do I feel 100% certain in myself, interact with others and not see a comparison? It is one of those paradoxes where you must experience it to know the answer.  What I like to practice is a feeling of equality.  You can’t go out into the world feeling you are better than others and offer positive interactions with these people.  The same is true if you feel you are lesser than anybody else.  Starting on an even playing field, believing everyone is equal sets you up to succeed not only in your view of yourself but that of others.  You then aren’t judging people based on your opinions and they aren’t offering the same in return.  It will be more about sharing of ideas and experiences from a more positive self-empowered place.  Try it, tell yourself you are equal to all and all are equal to you.  That their opinion good or bad doesn’t affect who you are and how you feel about yourself.  Watch as your confidence grows and you attract more confident positive people into your life.

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools: #1 Your Positive Story

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools: #1 Your Positive Story

Positive Quote With Divine Purpose

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools are a collection of tools you can use to live a more self-empowered life.  When you are in a place of happiness your whole life takes shape.  Love, joy, success and fulfillment all become realities in your life.  In this 10 step guide I will reveal the tools to live a happy, loving, positive thinking life using the concept of self-love.  This path to happiness is available to anyone.  The only thing needed to achieve it, is the desire.

What I am revealing to you will only remind you of what is your natural state of being. We started as happy beings and we decide on a moment to moment basis if we permit that happiness or oppose it.  Worrying about a bad thought or poor choice you have made in your life shouldn’t deter you on this journey to happiness as it can be reversed when you are ready to change your vibration.  Sometimes quickly and at other times it can be a longer transition.

Moving forward, you learn that the momentum you give to any reaction or emotion in your life dictates how easy it is to return to your natural state of being, which is happiness.  The first tool that will help you stay within a positive existence is the way you discuss yourself with others.  More importantly, it is how you describe yourself to yourself.

When we reveal the stories of our lives from a place of positivity, your past becomes the lesson and ignorance is excluded from your future.

When I say story I mean how you describe yourself to others and the way you express how your life has unfolded until this moment.  Let’s take for example, someone who used to hold a very important position at a company.  They felt they worked their entire career to get to that position.  Subsequently, this person had a terrible breakup which then threw them into a deep depression.  As a result of that split their work suffered, and they were let go from their job.

In the aftermath of being fired the conversations with friends would be focused on how their relationship fell apart.  Their energy has now shifted towards every detail of what went wrong in that relationship and how it has destroyed their life.  They talk about how the injustice they have experienced is attributed to the universe not repairing their broken relationship and how nobody at work understood what they had gone through.  Details about how their boss was a horrible person and how that job fired them without cause becomes a regular topic.

We can agree that as a friend or family member we would want to listen to them as they go through this unfortunate time to offer emotional support.  All the while thinking this person doesn’t value themselves, lacks self-confidence, nor do they see the process of how their life got to that point.  If you were to call this person up and ask how they were, they would use words like: terrible, overweight, sad, low, lonely.

The way you tell your story directs how you feel about yourself and how others view you.  Negative stories and negative descriptors attract more of the same.

If you can’t see yourself from a positive perspective how can anyone else see you that way?

Given that like attracts like, a better way of handling this life experience would be to say you parted ways with your past partner as you both were not offering each other the happiness you both deserved.  You could also say you have started a new journey in life with more self-love and more positivity. You could also summarize your job situation as your job didn’t work out but you know that if you could achieve that position in your career before you have the potential to do it again.

Telling your story in this way would uplift you.  You would feel well being and happiness when you discussed the past.  People would describe you as optimistic and enjoy spending time with you.  You would see evidence that those emotions attract more of the same.  Someone would recommend you for a new job based on your great outlook.  If you desired it you see that there would be many options available to you both in love and in your career.

How your story is told sets your emotional outlook.  That outlook attracts the manifestations of those emotions.  Even if you feel it is difficult to tell a positive story while feeling negative, the act of trying will slowly nudge you in the right direction.  A nudge at a time though slow will offer you the momentum to move into a more positive space.  It will help you believe the story you are telling and as a result the universe will deliver what you believe to be true in the speed at which you are ready to receive it.

Embrace Change

Embrace Change


Many see change as a threat to what feels comfortable in their lives.  As what feels easy and comfortable changes we fight against it causing us unhappiness.

Evolution and expansion are the basis for your life.  As we expand from experiences within ourselves and the experiences with others your life follows a path around that expansion.  The way you react to this expansion of your self and how you feel in any given moment is how your life will evolve.

If you oppose your natural progression that opposition will manifest a mirror image of your resistive emotions.

See the beauty and opportunity in change and embrace it for it’s powerful influence in your life.  You will see it flow much smoother and your life will start to shape around your dreams.

The Self Love Revolution

The Self Love Revolution


The Self Love Revolution

There is a revolution brewing and it’s one to take back the love for ourselves. A battle of sorts between the ego’s view of ourselves vs our true identity. In a world of social media where a lot of people base their lives and their identities on what other people are doing and how great their lives seem to be has created a lack of self love.

Many see the concept of self-love as selfish and self-absorbed. We are often told to give love to others while sacrificing our own need to be loved. Interesting enough many spend their days liking others online posts based around their luxury lifestyles, travels and ego based posts yet if you were to spend time loving yourself it is considered selfish.

The idea of loving yourself has been around a long time but it’s rarely discussed in modern religion and psychological studies. We are told to dedicate yourself fully to your deity or to not be an overly emotional person as this leads to psychological problems and judgment. We live in a society where we hide our emotions and focus on what others view as normal behavior. All the while the hiding of these emotions leads to self pity and depression.

Many people think they know who they are but a lot of the times who you are is based more in ego than true self. Your ego will tell you that you can be defined by a certain race, religion, gender, career title or whatever title you have put on yourself. Your true self though is beyond any of those labels and isn’t afraid to accept and love yourself completely. This is where the concept of self-love comes in and how loving yourself more, helps you love others more.

You then ask how do you love yourself more and how does loving yourself more help others?

Self-love starts with releasing the past that holds you back. Releasing the idea that who you are is based on what choices you have made and viewing yourself based on those choices. The next step would be to start living from a more present moment and allowing life to react to your presence than you reacting to life. Finally it’s about accepting who you are and what you dream of as a reality not based on the ego but based on who you are with your ego self peeled back.

Self-love is about acceptance without outside influences but beyond that accepting that you are bigger than the self you have labeled yourself to be. If you were to label yourself as only being a certain talent or an identity you limit how great you truly are. Loving yourself is not self absorbed its self-important! So important that your emotional and spiritual selves depend on that love to survive. It’s about never using negatives to describe your self and having confidence that you make decisions based on certainty in self not fear of inadequacy. It’s about looking in the mirror and knowing you matter and that you have a purpose. Saying I love myself, I am special and I matter enough to myself to do this for myself. This doesn’t come from ego this comes from spirit. You aren’t telling another person how great you are so, they feel less about themselves.  You are telling yourself how great you are so, others can be motivated to feel that way about themselves as well.

This is where the self-love revolution happens on a bigger scale. When you start to love yourself more and accept your true identity, the way you react to others and the choices you make will then spark that desire in others. When you are happy with life, others will be drawn to your happiness like a magnet and hopefully that happiness will spread like wild fire.   Any revolution always starts with one individual and one individual who fully allows their passion to expand can then affect another individual.

The dark ages of the ego are coming to an end; people are seeing the light in themselves. It’s a time for enlightenment and inner reflection. Go ahead self-love revolutionists, start the process today with the self-love salute by putting your hands on your chest, over your heart and looking in the mirror and shouting out … I LOVE YOU!