true self

Let’s Explore Jealousy

Let’s Explore Jealousy

Jealousy

Excerpt from “Falling in Love with your True Self”

When you are in a state of jealousy, and any situation that you compare yourself with another, you are disconnected from your true self. You can’t be synced up and connected to your true self while experiencing these emotions. Not that jealousy and comparisons are imperfect emotions, but they can be used as teaching moments. Remember how you feel on any subject is your sensor for how you are synced to it. Instead of trying to block out an opposing thought which can introduce jealousy, think of it as an alarm with a message blinking EXPLORE EXPLORE EXPLORE.

The “Jealousy Show Me the Way Exercise” is a great tool to help you get back on your path and not distracted with comparisons.

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Happiness is a choice

Happiness is a choice

Happiness is a choice

“Happiness is a choice and your natural state of being. Your emotions are your guide that reveal if you are permitting or opposing your true self.” – Excerpt from “Falling in Love with your True Self” by Michael Vincent Ford

When we permit our true selves to flow naturally into our present existence then happiness follows.  Worry, doubt and sadness are the result of opposing that natural flow.  Every instance in life has a choice of how you perceive it.

Start to observe your emotions to people and situations in your life to see if you can possibly make a different choice of how you react at those times.   When you start living a happier more present life everything else will follow suit.

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Temporary Roles

Temporary Roles

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I was recently reading “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and he was touching on the subject of the roles we play in life.  The topic that really struck me was the idea of temporary roles.  These are roles and personality shifts we do when in situations that we don’t feel completely comfortable being ourselves in.  Here is a passage from that chapter

“If you are awake enough, aware enough, to be able to observe how you interact with other people, you may detect subtle changes in your speech, attitude, and behavior depending on the person you are interacting with. At first, it may be easier to observe this in others; then, you may also detect it in yourself. 

The way in which you speak to the chairman of the company may be different in subtle ways from how you speak to the janitor. How you speak to a child may be different from how you speak to an adult. Why is that? You are playing roles. You are not yourself, neither with the chairman nor with the janitor or the child. When you walk into a store to buy something, when you go to a restaurant, the bank, the post office, you may find yourself slipping into pre-established social roles. You become a customer and speak and act as such. And you may be treated by the salesperson or waiter, who is also playing a role, as a customer. 

A range of conditioned patterns of behavior come into effect between two human beings that determine the nature of the interaction. Instead of human beings, conceptual mental images are interacting with each other. The more identified people are with their respective roles, the more inauthentic the relationships become.

You have a mental image not only of who the other person is, but also of who you are, especially in relation to the person you are interacting with. So you are not relating with that person at all, but who you think you are is relating to who you think the other person is and vice versa. The conceptual image your mind has made of yourself is relating to its own creation, which is the conceptual image it has made of the other person. The other person’s mind has probably done the same, so every egoic interaction between two people is in reality the interaction between four conceptual mind-made identities that are ultimately fictions. It is therefore not surprising there is so much conflict in relationships. There is no true relationship.”

This made me think beyond how we create these roles with other people but how we create the roles in how we interact with ourselves.  How often do we live our lives based on the age we are, what is appropriate for this age and how we see ourselves at this age?  How about when money isn’t coming in as fast as the bills are piling up?  We don’t feel good about these situations and feel unsuccessful which then correlates to how we value ourselves.  The same can happen when a relationship is deteriorating and without that love the love for ourselves is lacking.

All of these situations are temporary situations that create temporary roles and temporary views of ourselves.  Yet we let it define and steer us on our current path.  How can you expect someone to treat you a certain way when you can’t do that for yourself?  How can you attract a more abundant life, a happy relationship, a feeling of confidence when the role you have chosen is not in alignment with the role you want to play?

This concept goes back to what Eckhart discussed in how we interact with others.  If you treat the bank teller like a person who is there just to serve you, that you cannot relate to or interact with except for transactions, how can you be your true self if you temporarily leave your true self?  Your true self should always be present in the present moment.  Just as easy as it is to say something nice or crack a joke to the teller its just as easy to shift the view of yourself in situations you feel you can’t be your true self in.  Your true self doesn’t feel anger, sadness, disappointment in yourself so, why should you be temporarily blinded to how you should be interacting with yourself.

Temporary Role Play Exercise

An easy exercise to do when you are feeling less than adequate or not treating yourself kindly is to put what is bothering you into a role, give it a sex possibly a name and interact with it on a temporary basis.  Let’s say you are broke and overwhelmed with debt, let’s name the debt Bob.  You probably don’t feel too good about yourself because of the situation you are in with Bob.  To help guide you out of that situation you need to feel better about yourself to then be able to find a solution to Bob.  Let’s put Bob into a role as a person you are interacting with.  When faced with Bob you probably wouldn’t want to be best friends with him, take him out for a drink or even tell him your deepest secrets.  You probably feel threatened by Bob, resentful and intimidated.

This is where you can shift your attitude towards this debt role.  See him as an equal, see him as someone you could interact with that isn’t defined as having sway over you.  When you see Bob as equal as someone that can’t harm you, someone that values your opinion Bob isn’t so hard to talk to and interact with anymore.  You can then begin to see Bob as a temporary situation that you have control in changing.  You can shift your attitude towards Bob to something more productive and less damaging.  In that moment you are being your true self and able to attract a more positive manifestation which will help you resolve what you felt was self limiting.  You can then say thanks Bob for the chat time for me to go and shift your attention away from his presence.

 

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What are affirmations and how can you use them to heal your past?

What are affirmations and how can you use them to heal your past?

Positive-Thinking

What are affirmations and how can you use them to heal your past?

Below is an excerpt from my upcoming book “Falling in Love with Your True Self – Using self love to have healthier relationships, attract more abundance and finding your Divine Purpose”.

What are affirmations?

An affirmation can be described as any encouraging statement that is affirmative or believed to be true. Affirmations are a way to overcome the subconscious mind that often tells us something bad will happen, that we need to focus on the past and that we don’t deserve happiness. Think of affirmations as your spiritual boot camp drill sergeant who you know wouldn’t want you to eat that slice of cake but wouldn’t punish you for it either. “I WILL LOVE MYSELF MORE YES, DRILL SERGEANT”! He’s there to help you get into spiritual shape and feel better about yourself but only when you were ready to allow his help.

Earlier we worked on an exercise of using past statements and turning them into affirmations that can help you move past those experiences. Affirmations can be a strong tool in your self love toolbox. They are accessible at any time and can be tailored to your specific situation. To be fully effective they should to be believed and practiced from a place of certainty.

The idea of believing something when you feel you are in a place of complete opposition to the affirmation can be plain difficult to comprehend. While your spiritual drill sergeant wants you to feel better and sees that you have the choice to be happy sometimes we want to tell him “listen you’re crazy and this one slice of cake won’t hurt”. The reality is when we are in that place of not feeling good about ourselves, the self loathing can feel safe and even comfortable to many people. This is where the old adage “fake it till you make it” can be the solution. Just as when you put effort, thought and repetition into feeling bad about yourself the same can happen by repeating an affirmation.

A great way to accomplish this is to write your affirmations out onto a sticky note and place it somewhere you will see it often. I like to put these notes in my wallet, on the bathroom mirror, and even on my dashboard in my car. At times when I wouldn’t think to read the affirmation it’s there in my daily life to remind me of something positive. Even if I don’t feel I’m in the emotional state of that affirmation the constant presence of it in my daily life slowly expands into my present conscious beliefs through repetition.

Having it on your bathroom mirror serves another purpose, it allows you to see yourself repeating the affirmation. This might seem silly at first and can even feel uncomfortable but as you do it more the image of yourself exposed only to yourself and stating something positive about yourself helps you move into that feeling wholeheartedly. If you feel uncomfortable doing the mirror work laugh at yourself in the mirror be silly, make faces and try reading the affirmation again.

When you laugh you are more connected to your true self. Your true self is never unhappy, worried or sad. When you are laughing, passionate about something and fully open to an experience , that is your true self coming through. Affirmations are a way for you experience what your true self has waiting for you that you haven’t actualized yet because of resistance. When you experience joy and laughter you take away the power your ego has over you achieving the affirmation. Faking it till you make it is a tool to overcome a strong ego but the reality is when you connect to your true self there is no faking it, you can only experience well being.

Before we go into how to use affirmations it’s important to understand how to create them and which ones can serve you the best. While an affirmation can be anything that encourages positive feeling within yourself for the purpose of self love it should be focused on just the self. If we write out affirmations about someone else influencing your life you shift that self love energy into one that is dependent on another’s feelings or thoughts. An example would be “I am at peace with who I am” vs “Others see that I am at peace with myself”. When it comes to self healing affirmations you should focus your feelings to just the way you want to feel about yourself.

When you come up with the affirmations that can help you the most I encourage you to think of where you are lacking self love in your current emotional state. If you put a lot of thought into past relationships focus your affirmations on how you are in relation to yourself. If financial issues plague your daily thoughts create affirmations based on financial security. The affirmations you choose should be simple and short so you can set the vibration of that belief without too much effort.

The other important thing to know when creating affirmations is how you use the words “I AM”. Often I hear people describe themselves as “I am sad”, “I am broke”, “I am fat”. When you say I am anything you are sending out a message not only to others but to yourself of how you feel about yourself. Anytime you say “I AM,” you are creating your reality. The reality is you are never sad, broke or fat you are just experiencing that emotion or belief but you are not those things. One can experience sadness but one is not the essence of sadness. Sadness does not define who you truly are as a person. When you say I am sad you are allowing yourself to believe you are that sadness and you are sending a vibration of attracting more sadness. The words I AM are one of the most powerful two words you can use. There are many books based on the I AM theory which can be traced back to the name God told Moses he was when asked from the burning bush. For the purpose of this book and in relation to affirmations lets focus on keeping the words that follow I AM as something positive and uplifting.

Knowing now that we can write affirmations hat focus on our own self love, that we use only positive words after I AM, it’s also important to finish the affirmation with words that bring that feeling of certainty. An example of this can be “I AM happy” vs “I AM happy no matter what”. The second affirmation leaves no room for doubt and doesn’t allow uncertainty when you are allowing yourself to believe the affirmation. Certainty is a feeling we want to allow into our thoughts whenever we are coming from a place of self love. When there is no wavering in your belief of how you feel about yourself its an incredible place to be.

Using affirmations to let go of past thinking 

Knowing the power of affirmations, lets start to create ones that can help you let go of those thoughts of past mistakes or experiences that are holding you back so you can move into a more joyous present moment. Start with affirmations that relate to the things that you worry about most or that you haven’t been able to move past.

Let’s use the example of a past relationship you haven’t been able to move on from. We could use the tools I suggested earlier and create affirmations that allow you to feel better about yourself and that don’t focus too much on what isn’t in your current life.

“I AM at peace with my past relationships and ONLY attract people that are aligned with my best self”

This affirmation you can see doesn’t focus on what went wrong, name the person you haven’t moved on from and brings in a feeling of certainty with the word ONLY while utilizing a positive I AM statement. If we were to say “I AM at peace with my breakup from Bob” you would be bringing in the energy of that person while you could be attracting healing and self love to yourself that shouldn’t be affected by Bob anymore. Bob obviously didn’t make you feel too great so why attract more of that energy into your life. If you were to say “I AM at peace with not feeling abandoned” you are attracting a feeling that you could be abandoned by another person or reliving that feeling of abandonment that you allowed yourself to feel in the past. The goal of affirmations are to bring about a better feeling than where you currently stand in relation to the emotion you want to feel.

Once you have your affirmations created write them down on sticky notes or even type them on your mobile device and set a reminder throughout the day that alerts you of the affirmation. I like to set alarm reminders and put the affirmations as the note in the alarm. I have a sticky note on my bathroom mirror that changes week to week but reminds me of how I would like to feel. The first day I have the affirmation up I can read it out loud but don’t always belief it immediately. I find that after days of reading it and feeling it to be true that it becomes a core belief and allows me to attract that statement into my life more easily. I encourage you to start to believe the affirmations you write out for it to really effect you in a positive way and to heal from what’s holding you back in life.

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Attracting Positive People

Attracting Positive People

Love Affirmations1c

 

We often follow the idea that we attract what we are feeling and that which we are.  The same goes with the people that come into your life.  It’s not a forced action as much as it is a way you feel about yourself.  Others will gravitate towards your positivity and be aligned with your true self.  Allow the idea of those people into your life and they will show up for you.

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